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Jun. 1st, 2025 05:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seaglassgardenfeeling rly sick 2day. my headmate jon typed up a whole explanation of what happened when i talked to that friend abt emotional support, but i deleted it. the details are confusing, and i think the trajectory matters less than where i ended up. which is in a state of fatigue and resignation
i think.......i kind of expected my friend to naturally get better at providing emotional support b/c that's how my friendships normally evolve over time. most ppl i befriend already have those skills, and we just choose to use them more often as we get closer. but for him, it's more like he's disinterested in the idea of words as emotional support tools (both giving and receiving), and no amount of asking is going to change that. unless he decides to value verbal support more, our closeness has a hard limit. it's that limit ive found painful and impossible to accept. but i think im closer to making my peace with it
i kinda feel like i want to start back at square one. for a while we were spending so much time together, and we're fwbs too which complicates things. ive pulled back on the physical stuff over the past month or so. i don't want to erase what our friendship has meant but i also feel like ive been acting under the assumption that it will Become like my other friendships. there have been a lot of misunderstandings and assumptions on both sides, and i want to see what is actually there rather than what i hoped would be
i think.......i kind of expected my friend to naturally get better at providing emotional support b/c that's how my friendships normally evolve over time. most ppl i befriend already have those skills, and we just choose to use them more often as we get closer. but for him, it's more like he's disinterested in the idea of words as emotional support tools (both giving and receiving), and no amount of asking is going to change that. unless he decides to value verbal support more, our closeness has a hard limit. it's that limit ive found painful and impossible to accept. but i think im closer to making my peace with it
i kinda feel like i want to start back at square one. for a while we were spending so much time together, and we're fwbs too which complicates things. ive pulled back on the physical stuff over the past month or so. i don't want to erase what our friendship has meant but i also feel like ive been acting under the assumption that it will Become like my other friendships. there have been a lot of misunderstandings and assumptions on both sides, and i want to see what is actually there rather than what i hoped would be
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Date: 2025-06-02 01:12 am (UTC)