(no subject)

i survived my shift yesterday! my strategy worked, which is wonderful. most of the pants i own are now fairly useless to me though. im going on a trip later today to try to find some emergency soft black pants and hopefully a cardigan with big pockets for all my work gear

in the month or so before i went on medical leave, several of the long-term managers left and were replaced by new ones. ive been paying a lot of quiet attention to how they respond to outright apathy or contradiction from people who are now their employees rather than coworkers. i was encouraged to work towards one of these promotions several times, but i chose not to. im a pretty firm believer in the effect our day-to-day circumstances have on our personalities and our morals, and i couldn't imagine that being a manager at a retail chain and constantly having to fake my enthusiasm for profit would have good results. i can understand why other people would seek out that extra money. things are tight right now for the average poor person. but im curious. i want to know how they change or don't change. i want to see if they become the kinds of managers they swore they'd never be back when they were regular employees like me

after work, i stopped by the queer thrift store to look for new work clothes. no luck, but i did enjoy seeing a t-shirt with large text reading "never trust the living" and much smaller text reading "goodbye." it's the "goodbye" that knocked me out. goodbye! im outta here

i worked on a collage art piece and streamed it to a few friends while waiting for my best friend to pick me up. we had a nice conversation about art museums, specifically about building layouts and the costs/benefits of unconventional design. i got to share my memories of the houston museum of fine art's glowing tunnel. it was very intense for me as a child; i always thought i would fall into the lights and never return

then my bestie picked me up!!! yippie! we waited forever in a drive-thru line yapping then had dinner while his two younger cats smacked the shit out of each other

at one point during the night, i had a really bad dream, and my favorite of his cats immediately jumped onto the couch so she could curl up on my chest. i thought it was very sweet. my heart rate settled down very quickly with her warm weight on top of me

now im home and im going to make an enormous pot of beans before going on my clothing adventure. i find clothes shopping exhausting but i really do need new clothes asap